Hard Wall, Hard Head

I suppose it's been a while, as in decades, since I've stopped to actually think about the fact that if I move head first towards a wall, my head and the wall will at some point collide, movement will be halted and it may very well hurt. At my wise old age of 37 (it's true, it's true) that reality is pretty ingrained and thus I make it a habit not to walk or crawl head first into walls. That's not to say that I don't bang my head frequently on other things like cabinet doors, because I do, but not purposefully! However, my cute little 1 yr old has no such wisdom yet and is, in fact, discovering the many things his body can do. He's developing his spacial awareness, aka crawling head first into walls and closing doors on his fingers. He will literally crawl right into the wall, almost as if to say, "I've learned the wall is coming, but where is it? How far until I get to it? Oh, there it is, ouch!" (As evidenced in video below!)


He's discovering the sounds he can make when he bangs his hands (and his head) on different things, like the wall, the window, a bowl, his high chair, my leg, etc... And then he's also learning how to open and close doors, fascinated by his ability to do so, but altogether surprised when he pushes the door so as to wedge his head in between the door and the door frame and then can't figure out how to pull his head out. Both the look of "Mommy, I did it, I opened the door, I'm so proud!" and the look of "oh no, oh no, I got my head stuck. This was fun but now it's nooooooot" are priceless, each in their own ways.

I love love love watching him discover what he can do as I imagine the surprise, the joy, the pride, the frustration, and sometimes even the fear he seems to feel with each new discovery. This last week, he took his first step by himself and then immediately proceeded to crash into my arms, face marked with a giant smile and a belly filled with laughter. Oh and my heart is stretched a little bigger by the soft fists of joy with each of these tender moments. Yes, I may have gained some wisdom over the years, even though I am pretty sure I've lost a good deal of it during these two pregnancies. But I've started to wonder, in gaining wisdom, knowledge, and familiarity, perhaps a little of the joy of discovery is lost. How many 'firsts' do I have now, at my age? Yet, Ben is full of firsts, his life full of newness and discovery. And in watching him, I am reminded to continue discovering and finding new ways to stretch and grow myself. I don't think I'll start crawling into walls, but I am encouraged to try some new things, being ever the learner. Thanks, once again Ben, for a sweet reminder. You truly are my pride and joy...and though you have one hard head, you also have one tender heart!