Benjaminese - Finding His Voice

Many of you know that I'm passionate about helping women and kiddos find their voice. Not that I'm not interested in helping men find their voice, it's just not where my experience has been. So, naturally, one of my favorite parts thus far of being a SAHM (stay at home mom...yes, I'm trying to become a little more "with it" when it comes to cyber-mom lingo), is the privilege of helping B discover his personality and his voice. Lately he's been trying out new sounds, much like I try on clothes. Some sounds scare him and he tosses them aside like a an ill-fitting shirt. Other sounds seem to fascinate him and he practices them repeatedly, much like I don my favorite pair of jeans, over and over again. And I listen and repeat those sounds back to him, letting him know I heard him and encouraging him to keep 'talking.' I never thought I could love something so simple, but I do. I always seem to feel the need to throw in the caveat, 'for now, at least,' but not this time. This time I'll just say, I delight in hearing my lil B test out his voice!

His personality seems to be unfolding a little more each day and it's my hope to help him discover the fullness of who God created him to be. I hope to help him discover the curiosity and wonder that his mind is capable of, the strength, flexibility, and adventure that his body is capable of, and the deep, brave love that his heart is capable of. I look forward to witnessing him begin to express more and more who he is, what he's thinking, and what he's feeling. I want to empower him to use his voice to express himself. Now, I know what some of you veteran moms and dads might be thinking, 'just you wait, Melissa, oh he will express himself alright!' I know, I know I will face those moments when he 'uses his voice' to throw a tantrum in the middle of a store and to proclaim, 'but mommy, i weally weally weeeeeeally want dat new Thomas da Twain toy. yew gotta get it fer me'...and when I say no, 'but mommy pweeeeeeease...it's not fair, yew'r so mean mommy, (and possibly the dreaded words...) I hate yew mommy.' And I anticipate the mortifying moments when he asks someone if she has a baby in her tummy when she doesn't or spouts out the word, 'breast' in the middle of a restaurant! I never said I will always like what comes out of his mouth!

I'm confident that there will be countless times where I'll find myself less than thrilled with how he chooses to use his voice or what he expresses (but I'm sure they will make for good blogging material!). But hopefully along the way, we'll teach him not only to use his voice, but also to honor his parents and to respect and love other people. We'll do our best. We'll make mistakes. And so will he. But I dare to say that I'd rather have a child that knows who he is and has the courage to express what he thinks, feels, and believes, than one who lives in fear of doing so.

So for now, Ben, have at it. In the words of the renowned philosopher...Madonna, express yourself!

Spit Happens

...it sure does. And in this house, spit happens perhaps more frequently and with a bit more gusto than is common! Though, I'm now convinced that all the spit up is harder for me to handle than it is for Ben. ***If you are eating or just ate, you may want to read this another time, just a suggestion! The other day, I had recently fed Ben and we were getting ready to take Sami, our sweet and needy retriever, for a walk. I was getting Ben all cozy in the Ergo, in preparation for said walk, when all of the sudden IT happened. IT being a giant spit storm. IT was copious, IT was chunky, IT was EVERYWHERE. IT was all over the front of Ben, all down the front of me, on my arm, on my chin, in B's hair, and coating the Ergo. Sick, I know. Sorry for such a graphic description, but how else could I convey to you the paralyzing panic that I felt in that moment! :-) So, truthfully I felt paralyzed, I couldn't move. I didn't know what to do next or where to begin the process of cleaning IT up. I just stood there, frozen, covered in IT. That's when I looked down at Ben, who was also covered in IT, only to discover that he was looking up at me with the biggest, sweetest smile on his face, as if to say, 'it's ok mommy, I actually feel better now.' I couldn't help but smile too, and well, reach for my camera, of course! Though, I decided that the actual pic of when IT happened, while good for documenting purposes, was a little much to post!

It's incredible to me how much I learn, each and every day, from this little being who is so dependent on me. It seems that as adults, we tend to bottle things up inside, wanting to keep all of our weaknesses, all of our messiness to ourselves. It's all too easy to don a facade of perfection, like we've got it all together, when really there's a whole lotta gurgling goin' on inside. And even if we try to stuff it down, try to hide it, try to keep it all inside, it's eventually going to make it's way out and it sure isn't gonna be pretty when it does! I mean, who wants to vomit one's stuff all over someone else, or worse yet, be the one vomited all over! It's a lot less messy if we let it out a little bit at a time, not to mention that it's freeing to do so. So, on that one spitty day in September, my son reminded me how much it does me good, to let some things out on a regular basis and to let people see some of my not-so-perfect sides (of which there are plenty). After all, that's real life, and in real life, spit happens.