Blowing It Out of the Water

This past Tuesday, Ben and I ventured out into sub-zero temps (-9) for our first parent/child swim class at the rec center. Don’t worry people, he was bundled to the hilt and I warmed up the car first (NOT backed up to the garage, of course – see post entitled, Out with a Bang, In with a Beep) for 20 min to get it nice and toasty inside. So yes, out we went to our first swim class. Basically it was just an introduction to swimming, to help kids begin to feel comfortable in the water. My parents started me in swim lessons at a very early age and I have always been grateful because I've had an affinity for the water and swimming for as long as I can remember. And since birth, Ben has loved his baths, so I had high hopes for him and the whole swimming thing. And as it turned out, he loved it. You might even say, he blew it out of the water. He was smiling, kicking, and splashing away, with little visible fear and not a single tear. I was a proud and happy mama.

Fast forward to today, swim class numero dos. Today the instructor announced that we were going to work on blowing bubbles. She said that we, the parents, should blow bubbles, in effort to model to the kiddos how to do it. She said that as they watched us, they would begin to get the idea and start to do it themselves. So, there I was blowing bubbles in the water and making motor boat sounds. Ben, just stared at me, looking somewhat bewildered. But at some point he caught on, because he began to blow his own bubbles. The only problem being, he was blowing bubbles of a different kind, if you know what I mean. In other words, while on Tuesday, I would say he blew it out of the water, today, he apparently decided to blow it INTO the water!!!

Picture it, I'm in the water and B is sitting on the side of the pool, ready to practice jumping into the water, when suddenly I spy a brownish colored substance making it’s way into the little filter thingy on the side of the pool. For a split second, I think ‘oh sick, I wonder what that is. No, I take that back, I don’t even want to know. Pools that have lots of kiddy users are so gross.’ And just as that train of thought rolled into the station, it hit me, with hurricane-like force, ‘oh my gosh, that is BEN’s poop!! HE BLEW OUT HIS SWIM DIAPER!!!’ I look into the pool, scanning the water, and can do nothing but gasp as I see them, the brown floaties swirling about in the pool, having escaped from MY son's swim dipe! Quite honestly, I didn’t know what to do. I mean the classes at the hospital certainly don’t prepare you for what to do when your son blows out his diaper in the middle of swim class. So, mustering up all my humility, I quickly let the instructor, who is all of about 21 years of age, into my dirty little secret. To her credit, she managed to move the rest of the class out of the pool and into another kiddy pool, all the while assuring me that it happens to every mom at some point. Really? To all you moms and dads out there, has this happened to you? Or anyone you know? Or was she just trying to make me feel better? I’m betting on the latter.

In unforeseeable circumstances such as these, I find that I have to try to keep my wits about me and just do my best, as far as a plan of action goes. I mean, when you’ve got the brown stuff oozing out all over the place, you have to act and you have to act fast. So, I briskly wisk B and his poopy little self out of the pool and wrap him in my towel, making a bee line for the showers. I quickly rinse him off, watching all of the evidence make it’s way down the drain. And through all of this, B is just looking at me with his usual sweet face, wondering what’s going on. After all, for him it was just business as usual. Only today, he decided to do his business in the pool! Tom said I should tell him that just because the first 3 letters in pool are poo, doesn’t mean he has to do it in the pool!

As for me, it was yet another opportunity for learning and growth. Sure, I thought of things I could have done better. Yet, if this had happened when I was in my 20’s, I probably would have been absolutely mortified and may have had a very difficult time going back to the class next week, that is if I even would have gone back at all. But, here I find myself in my 30’s and this little defining moment shows me that I’ve grown. Instead of being mortified, I just found myself momentarily panicked as to what to do, but was able to laugh about it pretty quickly afterwards. And really, all I could do was shrug my shoulders and look at the other parents like, ‘well, sorry everybody to put a damper on all the swim fun, but I don’t really have a whole lot of control over the kid’s poop schedule! See ya next time!’ And we will go back next Tuesday, and we will resume our work on blowing bubbles, but hopefully next time they will be the kind that come out of his mouth!

On the drive home, I decided that this eventful morning called for a drink. I’m not gonna lie, a margarita sounded pretty darn good! But seeing as it was 9:30 in the morning and I had to drive my little man home, I opted for a Starbucks. I call it my, ‘Pool Blowout Recovery Latte!’ And of course, I drove 10 minutes out of my way to a Starbucks with a Drive-thru , because guess who was asleep? You guessed it, the Lil Pooper. And why wouldn’t he be, he too was recovering from quite the active morning, with all that kicking and splashing, and workin’ out of his business. As I rocked him back to sleep once we were home, I looked down at him and thought, ‘I love his naiveté and absolute oblivion to what other people think of him.’ And I felt a twinge of sadness, knowing that at some point, he will begin to concern himself with what other people think. At least for a few decades anyway, until he realizes once again, like his mama is beginning to, that you can’t control what other people think of you. You just have to be yourself! And well, this morning I expanded the definition of who I am a bit, becoming a member of that special club, the ‘My Kid Blew Out His Diaper In The Pool During Swim Class’ club! Any other members out there?