Discoveries and Observations

A random collection of things I'm learning and want to hold on to when the circus that is my life kicks into high gear:

- I love mornings. Not so much those initial moments of morning when I am suddenly awoken from my dream-filled sleep by one, often two children crying, children whose needs are immediate or so their cries would indicate. But once I’m up, remember who and where I am, and am moving around…then mornings are a time bursting with energy and new possibilities. Mornings bring with them a clean slate and provide what sometimes is a much needed ‘do-over.’
- Choosing an attitude of patience, love, and joy first thing in the morning is directly correlated with how the day unfolds.
- I’m worthless in the afternoons, exhausted, ‘fall asleep washing dishes’ kind of tired.
- Lack of good mommy time = Ben acting out, as evidenced by his attempts to whack his brother in the face, pull ornaments off the tree and furtively place them in the trash can, and push all the buttons on the dvd player so as to mommy-proof it.
- Talking to other mamas and reading mom blogs is both life-giving and normalizing for me. Both keep me sane and remind me of why it’s not a good idea to get in my car by myself and drive to a far away beach, despite my momentary yearnings to do so.
- I see parts of my personality in my kids. This is both rewarding and terrifying.
- I feel sad when I think about Ben’s allergies, thinking about how he will never be able to just go out and enjoy a meal at a restaurant without asking a multitude of questions, or go to a birthday party without my specially made cupcakes accompanying him. As silly as it may sound, I think I need to grieve this. And soon, he will probably need to grieve too, in his own way.
- 4:00-6:00 are my hardest hours, the witching hours, as I call them. Usually both kids are awake and cranky and I am exhausted. I need to be intentional about remembering the the sweet moments of my day before Tom gets home, so that he hears the positives and doesn’t think the whole day looked like the 4-6 hour circus.
- A deep breath can do wonders.
- The swing was a magical, wonderful, worth-every-penny purchase.
- Look upward throughout the day, there’s grace waiting to be had.
- This is a season. I will not feel this tired forever.
- Hold loosely. The kids are constantly changing, thus our routines will constantly change.
- Bonding with and pouring love out on Blake doesn’t diminish my love for Ben.
- Blake has beautiful big blue eyes and a dreamy little smile.
- Ben takes a little while to check things out and warm up in a new situation. I can think of this as clingy or I can see it as cautious and observant. I choose the latter. And once he’s observed and feels comfortable, he goes at things wholeheartedly. I see this as brave and passionate.
- Cleaning needs (if it really needs to be done, which is still up for debate) to take place in the early morning, when I have the most energy and when Blake is sleeping, after I’ve had good playtime with Ben.
- God will not give me more than I can handle, right?
- Things go much much better when I let my husband figure things out and do them his way rather than tell him how to do everything related to the boys.
- I am much more of a routine person than I ever thought I was, or at least than I used to be. Routines play a huge role in whether I will thrive that day. Of course, so does holding loosely to said routine!
- Ben is mastering various word sounds. The latest sound is “oo,” which he practices by saying the words, “moon,” “Boo,” “Moo (milk),” and “choo choo” what seems like 100 times a day. It would be annoying if his voice wasn’t so dang sweet. I hope I never get annoyed by his repetition of words, but I’m sure I will when all I hear is ‘mommy’ all day long.
- Ben loves to climb anything and everything. I wonder how small they make climbing harnesses? Let’s get this energy harnessed in a productive direction, shall we?
- Ben loves music and books and he has a curiosity that I’m jealous of.
- A walk does us all good.
- An outing between 3-5 is essential. It doesn’t matter if it’s to the park, the museum, the grocery store, or just to drive circles around the neighborhood. WE NEED TO GET OUT.
- I love my boys more than I could have ever imagined and I want more than anything for that not to get lost in the tense, whine-filled moments of an afternoon.
- My husband and I are a team. We are on the SAME team (a key thing to remember when things hit the fan) and when it comes down to it, we make a kick-a$@ team, if I do say so myself.