Confessions of a Mountain Mama

This past weekend we took Ben, who is now 2 months old, camping for the first time and much to our enjoyment, he seemed to love it. Thus, we did too. And while I feel like I could write about how cute he looked all bundled up at night or how well and long he slept, or how he seemed to thoroughly enjoy hanging out in his mini tent during the day, there is something entirely different on my heart today. It has everything to do with what was awakened in me this weekend. It's the same thing that's awakened in me every time I find myself in the mountains or in nature in general, perhaps just a little more this time. The mountains and the water are the two places where I feel most alive and most connected to my Creator. You see, I'm a mountain girl at heart, trapped in a suburban world. And while there is of course, absolutely nothing wrong with the city or the burbs, living there for me is like taking a fish and expecting it to live on a playground. It feels like I'm not being toally authentic to who I am.

Though,I do have to acknowledge that I love sampling food dished up from around the world at hip local restaurants, and I enjoy encountering different cultures and languages, and I definitely appreciate the arts and sporting events that come with living in a big city. And I'm not gonna lie, I have come to love the convenience that comes with living in the burbs. I have 3 grocery stores and a target within 5 minutes, all of which I can and have walked to on occasion. And there is every chain store imaginable within 10 minutes of my home, including 2 Home Depots, 2 Lowes, 2 Costcos, Babies R Us, Bed, Bath & Beyond, Michaels, and not to mention, 5 Starbucks. I really do appreciate the convenience that comes with this life, especially now that I have an infant, who seems to have identified his ideal timing for a cryfest as about half way through the shopping excursion, when the cart is half full and there's no turning back. And I do have bike paths and 3 lakes within walking distance of my house, as well as a view of the mountains, so what is it that I'm longing for? Is this just a case of me wanting more, wanting what I don't have? Because I readily admit that I've been guilty of that from time to time. But I think this is different. There is something different about this pull to the mountains. And I'm still asking myself questions about my longing, while at the same time working hard to remain grateful for what I do have, to enjoy where I am and the life I am living in the here and now.

But one thing I do know is that I most come alive while hiking through a field of wildflowers, biking up a mountain pass, running through the woods on an undulating mountain trail with my sweet dog, working in a garden, or writing beside a gentle stream. Yes, I love the opportunity to have an active, outdoor lifestyle that mountain living affords. Yet that can also be had while living in the city, it just looks different. So, it's more than just the active lifestyle I'm after. It seems there is a certain type of simplicity that comes with mountain living, a simplicity I long for, perhaps because I have difficulty achieving it here in the city. There is also a connection with creation and my Creator that is, for me, more easily nurtured the deeper into nature I live. This explains why I loved my summers spent as a mountaineering guide in the Medicine Bow Range of Wyoming and in the San Juans here in Colorado. While I certainly don't wish to be doing that now, there are elements of that life that I sorely miss. I know that I'm my most creative, most calm, most at rest, and I feel most beautiful and most alive when I'm in the nature.
In the 3 years that Tom and I have been married, we've been fortunate enough to travel to some incredible places, mostly thanks to Tom having business in those locales. We've visited Seattle, Vancouver, New Orleans, and Australia. But my favorite vacation, other than our honeymoon, the one where we backpacked along the beach in Olympia National Park and then proceeded to drive down the coast of Washington and Oregon, camping wherever we felt like stopping along the way. We caught fish and enjoyed it for dinner, accompanied by mussels that we had traipsed into the water to retrieve ourselves. We dined on fresh oysters that we let perch over the fire to crack open. We met a couple who lends their land out to campers and who allowed us to pick fresh veggies and berries from their garden to eat with the fish we had caught. We spent an entire day sitting out on a dock, casting our crab nets and reading books. We later gnoshed on the crabs we caught by the light of the moon.
I know, I know, it was vacation and real life isn't like vacation. But it's a vacation that I can't wait to repeat with our kids some day. And I also know that when I think about my favorite memories, from childhood to the present, the majority of them are of sweet times spent with people I love, outdoors in some capacity.

So, what keeps us from mountain living then? For starters, we tried to sell our place last year and it didn't sell. I trust it wasn't the right time, but I believe the time will come. And for now, Tom's job keeps us here, as well as our desire to be near my parents, our friends, and our church. So, for now we stay put, trying to enjoy what we have, taking walks along the lakes and trails nearby, and taking excursions to the mountains to play in all the ways we love.

And while I still can't put my finger on exactly why I want to move to the mountains and what it is about mountain living that is an ever-magnetic pull for me, I know that I do. And I expect that one day we will. It's in both of our hearts, it's who we are in our core. So, we keep listenting to that, keep dreaming, keep working to live congruent to who we are and what we believe. And in the meantime, we give much thanks for what we have and for the fact that the newest addition to Team Meuzelaar seems just at home in the mountains as we are.