Benjamin William

If I were to write a book right now, besides the fact that it would most likely be chock full of incoherent sentences from a sleep-deprived mom, I would probably want to title, "What to Expect When You're Expecting...The Unexpected." Yep, there were a lot of unexpecteds with the birth of my son, yet I'm discovering that in every unexpected moment and circumstance, one can find some element of sheer beauty...somewhere.

A little over a week ago on Wednesday, June 30, 2010 at 4:50am, I gave birth to my first son, Benjamin William, weighing in at a mere 5 lbs, 8 ozs and 18.5 inches. Though, he is small in stature, he has already proven that he is mighty in heart. After all, he endured a 45 hour labor. Yup, that was one of the "unexpecteds," and not one that I would wish on anyone else. Another unexpected, was that he made a last minute decision to make his debut in the posterior position (face-up), much to our surprise, which likely contributed to the length of the labor. But wow, I really have no words to describe the sheer beauty of that moment when they placed Ben on my chest. Even though he was covered in blood and goo, greenish and blue in color, and sporting a cone head that was seriously a good 6 inches long, He was absolutely perfect in my eyes. And I have never known a more tender, beautiful moment in my life, with my newborn baby on my chest and my husband by my side. It's fascinating to me that things which might be judged to be disgusting or imperfect by the world's standards, when seen through a lens of love, are found to be absolutely perfect.

While I wondered what it might be like and how I might feel post-delivery, the sheer beauty of holding my son is unexpectedly beyond description.